And it's out: the Scene's 2010 YASNI issue

Yes! To my great delight at the end of last week (funny, I cannot remember if Fri. or Sat. --an episode of "someteimers disease"?) I saw the latest issue of the Nashville Scene, this city's major alternative rag. And the cover article presents the 2010 edition of the paper's "You Are So Nashville If. . ." completion contest.

The issue's cover is a cartoon which shows three men carrying musical instruments above their heads and wading thru floodwaters on Lower Broad (the river end of Broadway). Each man wears a different tee shirt of those which were produced after the Great Flood and sold to help raise money for flood relief and recovery. And at the bottom is this:

"You Are So Nashville If. . . your city flooded and all you got was a lousy t-shirt."

This is SO FUNNY! David Anthony's entry certainly beats the winner of last year's YASNI contest. The 2010 Second Place entry also alludes to the flood as well as to local politics: ". . .FEMA bailed out your Tea Party a--." (Bruce Arntson) Two other flood-related I found particularly amusing are "You can rhyme Omohundro" (Wando Weaver) and "All of your friends are now experts at removing soggy drywall" (Christian Bottorff). Concerning "Omohundro" please read my recent post about heroes of the Great Flood (1 July) or an on-line article from The City Paper.

On the other hand, Wando Weaver also entered one that hits close to home: "You are so Nashville if. . . you used to work for Gaylord." I'm certain the entry refers to mall and hotel employees who lost their jobs to the floodwaters. But yours truly used to work for Gaylord, too -- back before Gaylord murdered Opryland Park.

As for non flood-related entries, probably my fave is ". . .All of your city's 'alternative' papers are owned by the same large conglomerate (Ilissa Gold)". She's referring to the irony of the Scene and The City Paper both having the same owner. A related other entry of hers is ". . .The City Paper thinks you're too ambitious and confrontational."

Finally two entries both having to do with Nashville as both "Buckle of the Bible Belt" AND "Music City USA" are "YASNI. . .

. . .You can't tell if you're at a gay bar or a Christian music industry party. (Kevin C)" and

. . .You've sued your church over songwriting royalties (Sean Williams)."